Curiosity.
Is it the key? To everything?
As an annoyingly persistent optimist, I am feeling a little blue of late. It isn’t new, it comes and goes, and I blame it on 2020 entirely. It is hard to watch this pandemic flatten my country when we could have managed it so much better. It is hard to see people dying when they didn’t have to. And there is a lot of fear in the unknown future. I do feel a measure of hope (that is the persistent part of the optimist in me), but some days I need a little reminder.
My solutions for this mild depression* revolves around two things. The first is simply remembering to pay attention. My Christmas cactus is blooming in huge pink and red blooms. The finches and chickadees at my backyard bird feeder are continuously entertaining if I remember to watch them. The sun sets super early and watching the clouds turn pink and orange is a good way to reset in the afternoon. It takes remembering to notice to pull me out of my work and routine. But a few moments of noticing can make a big difference.
The second has to do with creativity. A lot of that these days revolves around yarn and teaching about yarn. How a material made from the fibers of plants and animals became so enthralling to me is something of a mystery, but the fact remains. Projects using yarn grab my imagination and I’m off in a world of my own creating.
My yarn-y projects have multiplied significantly this year. I’ve knitted a couple scarves. Pictured is the Rio Colina Cowl by Cat Bordhi who we sadly lost this fall. I highly recommend this pattern. Cat sets you up with a simple square piece of knitting and you get to add cables that romp all over the fabric wherever you want. No following complicated charts or anything. Just K2, P2 and cables whenever you do or don’t want them. I’ve knit this out of handspun. It is probably my favorite handspun yarn ever and I used it as a nod to the passing of an amazing artist and teacher. Cat Bordhi sent us a letter before she went and included this pattern as a gift. Find it HERE. Cat’s passing was noted by the New York Times and I know knitters all over the world miss her a lot.
Rio Calina Cowl, pattern by Cat Bordhi. photo: Emily Haire
I also knit the parallelogram scarf from Modern Daily Knitting (see header photo for this post). Very simple knitting has really helped me keep my hands busy at all times but especially when I might be feeling a little anxious. That includes any time I might be watching the news which I do less and less. Knitting is mandatory. And the chickens have multiplied.
There are creatures that I can’t show you except for this image of parts in process. Don’t worry, it isn’t carnage, the bits and bobs will come together to make a few adorable holiday gifts for loved ones. I’ll tell you more about those later so as not to ruin the surprise.
Body parts. Don’t worry, they’re all made of yarn and will eventually come together into two different animal toy projects.
Finding a state of flow
Over Thanksgiving I pulled out the card table and did a jigsaw puzzle. Then I did another one. Oddly soothing, this activity accesses a part of my brain that needs to just zone out and look for patterns. The first was a color wheel challenge (highly recommended if you want to increase your color discernment**). The one pictured at the end of this post is an image of yarn. You know you’re a yarn geek when you find yourself looking for pieces based on what you’d use the yarn for. “Boucle, steer clear.” “Blue-green sock yarn, nice.” “Violet yarn, tapestry.” “Weird confusing yarn, don’t buy.” “Red fat single, knitted hat.” Etc.
I think this brain state, which may or may not be what we call flow, is also best accessed for me in tapestry weaving. When I think about cultivating wonder in my life, tapestry weaving is the practice that most brings it forward besides being in nature. I’ve tried to describe this state before on the blog and I’m not sure I’m ever successful. All I can say is to be present for what happens and be very curious about what is happening helps me enter a place where I am really paying attention and my brain can relax and just be. Time passes differently there. Often I’ll be working on a tapestry and find myself thinking (or more likely saying right out loud), “What would happen if this weft went over one more warp right here?” Or “Maybe the top of this swoopy line needs one more short pick to make it curve just right, let’s try it.” Or “If I added one thin strand of red yarn to this fat green bundle, what happens to the color?” And you know what? Those simple-sounding questions are utterly engrossing in the moment.
Often those experiments also involve unweaving, but the curiosity about what might happen is what leads me on and keeps the process fascinating for tapestry after tapestry. It definitely isn’t heady stuff, but in the middle of a raging global pandemic, it’s what we’ve got.
Rebecca Mezoff, Handbasket tapestry, “Those E’s sure are different. I guess it makes it look more like handwriting.”
The other creative activity I’m deep into is creating a new course. I find this gathering of information and figuring out how best to present it to lead to student success so very satisfying. Right now I’m working on material for Design Solutions, Season 2 and my fingers are covered with glue from making example pages for color exercises. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be editing an interview with an inspiring tapestry artist. I love doing all of it.
I think what I’m saying is that humans all have the capacity for curiosity and wonder. That leads us to creativity and it also keeps us engaged in whatever is in our environment right now.
This morning I was reaching into the mug cabinet while heating the water for my morning tea and pulled out my Ellis mug. It wasn’t intentional. I had already written much of this blog post. But partway through my first cup of chai tea, I realized I was holding the mug that says, “Love and wonder every day.” Ellis is one of my favorite musicians and ever since Thanksgiving her Pie for Breakfast song has been running through my head. Most of her music is free on the internet, so look her up. You’re welcome for the ear worm.
Love and wonder every day.
*I am in no way minimizing the struggle of people who have clinical depression. This is a difficult, insidious condition that takes a lot of courage to address. I’m talking about being a little blue. If you’re beyond blue, please get the help you need. You matter and there are ways to find healing.
**Scroll through this Instagram post for a photo of the puzzle box or just google “color wheel jigsaw puzzle” for similar ones.