Color Struggles

I will admit it.  I have had very little formal art education.  I'm not completely sure if this is a plus or a minus.  In some ways I think it lets me think outside whatever boxes you learn in art school... in other ways it means I have to learn a lot through trial and error.  Right now I'm learning a lot about color.  And just when I think I'm starting to develop some skills in choosing and using color, I find that I really don't know what I'm doing at all!  

I think color is a frequently shifting and potentially difficult subject.  I also believe that this nature of color has a lot to do with our perception.  As humans we like to think that what we see is really what exists in front of us, but I know that this isn't always the case.  How often do we think we're seeing and interpreting something accurately only to find upon further inspection that our brains have created a whole that is radically different than the original?  I both love and hate this aspect of working with color.  I find it fascinating that a color can do so many things depending on "environment"... but also find that quality maddening when trying to use color "successfully" in a piece.

Challenged

I stepped off the loom a bit ago because I had some design ideas running through my head--some inspired by the amazing work of Barbara Heller and photos I had seen of her ghost series.  I got on the computer to see if she had a website and found many photos of her amazing work.  Then I stumbled across the Canadian tapestry network and was surprised to see my blog linked there (thank you whoever is responsible for that one!).  Well, that just made me think I'd better get busy and pay some attention to my blog.  But the bottom line is that I really need to get busy and pay some attention to my loom.  It is so easy to get lost in the online worlds at the computer and forget about the worlds I want to create in my art.  I start to dream about shows I want to enter and which works will be good for what venue, and forget that the real experience I am touching is at the design table and the loom.  Art, for me, is not about the show at the end of a body of work.  It is about the experience of touching something essential within myself and putting that out in the world.  It is easy to forget this when I get busy and flustered by the everyday happenings of life.

The Canadian tapestry network website will be a future source of inspiration and exploration as it is large and full of amazing work.  I'm glad I ran across it.  But for today, I must finish a piece I'm working on that was inspired by Anni Albers and her connection of text to weaving... more about that when I'm done with the piece.  I feel myself ready to finish this work and move forward with a more personal series dealing with the layers in our lives and how we hide and express ourselves (thus my interest in the "ghosts" of Barbara's amazing tapestries).

Rest In Peace

I had a HAPPENING last week Thursday night at about 8 pm as I was trying to send an e-mail with an evaluation I had finished writing attached.  I was in denial that this event was imminent for about 4 days prior to it actually occurring.  The power of denial is truly very very large.  My hard drive crashed.  I have used my little Mac Powerbook G4 with the sexy titanium case for 4 years... and it was a powerhouse.  It never failed me (except when the disk drive stopped working, but I forgave it and bought an external drive) until Thursday when at 8:23 pm the hard drive crashed.  I said a few hail marys (and I'm not Catholic), turned the power off, let it "rest" for an hour or so while I had a glass of wine, and then turned it back on.  I got the spinning blue wheel of death.  I was later told by the computer technician that that means it doesn't recognize the hard drive.  But I was hoping it was just temporary insanity and I turned her off again and let her "rest" until the morning.  

Well, the spinning wheel of death was there again, so I carted her off to the computer doctor (really, their business is called computer medics--unfortunately all I came home with today was a body they drug up from the morgue).  I was gently and soundly reprimanded for not having my stuff backed up (she hadn't failed me before!  Why should I take time to back stuff up?) and told that the files were irretrievable and that I should start shopping for a new Macintosh.  This seemed a little harsh, but as today is Wednesday and I had people breathing down my neck asking for those lost evaluations (which I shall have to rewrite as soon as I finish the current glass of wine), I had to find myself a new computer.

And about the power of denial?  The computer had been slowing down exponentially for about 3 days and was starting to make ominous whirring sounds.  I did get a little alarmed at about 8:21 pm on that fateful Thursday and started thinking about backing up things... and then 8:23 came around and the chance was lost.

A few seconds of silence please for the dearly departed...  I really did love this computer.  I didn't have a cross, so I used three little goddesses.  I'm sure it is all the same to the computer.

And perhaps that will help me find the genius who is going to recover my data, eh?

The new MacBook that I bought today is still sexy and oh-so-Mac.  I love the Mac--the little icons that jump and look like they're three dimensional, the programs which are intuitive and don't require me to remember where things actually are, the plug-n-play aspect which doesn't require me to read instruction manuals... you can't beat a Mac.  This new Mac has something called a Time Machine which I really hope might help me correct some errors I made in the last 36 years.  

But being without a computer for 6 days opened my eyes to just how much time I spend on the thing.  Life would be simpler without this technology and we would have more time for watching the clouds.  Honestly, the first thing I thought when it died was, "thank god I don't have to work any more tonight."  

All I have to say in the final analysis is, if you don't have a backup for your computer, DO IT NOW!  I will be purchasing an external hard drive onto which I will place all the junk I want to sort through until technology changes so much I can't access it anymore... just in case this new machine decides to let me down one day.

To design a tapestry...

In this coming week many new things will happen in my life. Not that breaking up with my partner, quitting my job, and moving back to NM weren't enough... But the new things this week start with an apprenticeship in Santa Fe with my mentor James Koehler.

I have been alternately struggling and sitting with some tapestry designs for the last couple weeks. I am not always patient with the process of designing a new piece. I find that if I do give myself time to let a design roll around in my head a little and then play with it on paper for a day or a week or a few months, the result is much better. When I just get excited about the first thing I draw and put it on the loom, I'm often disappointed by the results. I've been working on a design for this tapestry and it has changed a lot in the last few weeks--even in the last few hours. But it still isn't gelling into something I want to spend a few months weaving in a public studio situation. So more time is needed.

The design as it stands now is inspired by the rock formations of NM and the petroglyphs I find myself living among. And as always, it is informed by a healthy dose of questioning about how we all ended up here and for what purpose. This photo was taken in the South San Juan mountains of Colorado last summer. Now I could take the same photo with the South Sangre de Cristos as my view. Either way, I gain inspiration and grounding from the amazing things I see just out my window.

I'll keep working on that tapestry design... and I'll let you know how it turns out one of these days.

A White Christmas... in Gallup.. and other abundance

SNOW! Remember when you were a kid and snow on Christmas was icing on the cake? Well, for those of use who grew up in the southwest US anyway, getting snow on Christmas is a rare and beautiful occasion. It DID snow last night on top of the couple inches from a few days ago. It is melting fast, but the snow was appreciated as it dusted the sparkly Christmas lights and covered the dirty streets.

I am in the NM town where I grew up for Christmas with my sister and her husband who are pictured here showing off my grandmother's mangle. My grandparents have recently moved to Connecticut and they left the mangle behind as apparently ironing things like sheets was no longer a priority. We're not sure what to do with the mangle, but it was kind of fun to play with.

I am excited and overwhelmed by the gift of weaving equipment, also from my grandparents. The looms are no longer used by either of my grandparents and they left them to me, the remaining weaver in the family (after Auntie who already has a Harrisville rug loom!). The loom collection includes a Leclerc upright tapestry loom, a Macomber with 10 harnesse (castle for 16), and a Harrisville rug loom. My grandparents only bought the best looms! Now I have the privelege of using them--and trying to shoehorn them into my house and still have room to live! But I'm crazy enough to give up the couch for a loom. I will NOT be taking the mangle with me.

A snowy day in New Mexico

So I have returned to my homeland. I suppose that sounds a little dramatic, but I really feel like I'm supposed to be back here. Maybe not specifically Velarde as I have no prior connection to this particular place, but I think Velarde is as good a spot to land as any other. For one thing I live just a stones throw from the Rio Grande river--the great mother river of this part of the country whose headwaters I have hiked along in Colorado and by whose banks I have walked my dog in Alamosa and watched cranes in Albuquerque and Socorro. Now I live next to her and hope to hear the cranes flying over next spring on their trip to the San Luis Valley and then farther north. It's all connected.

It is snowing here today. We got several inches last night--maybe as much as 4 or 5 inches. This is a holiday in New Mexico. Believe me, everything shuts down when there is snow in the air--except WalMart of course. Not even a bomb could shut them down. As I have not yet nailed down a job, I don't have anywhere I need to be today and am looking forward to a day at the loom. My Rio Grande loom is set up and I'm finishing a panel for a piece called Invitation. Here it is on the loom. As soon as I finish shoveling the snow from my back walk so it doesn't become an ice rink, I'm back to the loom. This is a photo of my dog Cassy under my loom asking to play frisbee, her favorite game, in the freezing cold blowing snow. Dogs just don't care about the weather... though when I took the photo above of her standing in the snow, she soon wanted to go back to her nap on my bed. Maybe the problem is that she has no memory for cold weather. Still, there is nothing better than a furry labrador to keep your toes warm in the winter.

Looms

Does anyone know of a weaver who needs a 40 inch Gilmore 8 harness jack loom? I have an extra one lying around. No, seriously, this was my first loom and I still love it. It is made of beautiful wood, handcrafted by a guy in California. I got to pick the loom up from his workshop (I was living in Reno, NV at the time) and see the loom coming out of his cavernous woodshop. At that time (about A.D. 2000) he was largely doing the whole thing on his own. It was quite impressive--lots of sawdust and HUGE saws. Anyway, my girlfriend at the time helped me haul this loom home in her Nissan XTerra (it barely fits assembled--take note if you're thinking you want this loom and need to move it)... and it became my companion for all those years. But the loom has been neglected for the last 4 years as I have been weaving tapestry (and my family will attest to beginning to tire of moving a loom that isn't being used). I don't expect to give up tapestry at this point, and the Gilmore needs a new home.

Some of you may know of my space limitations... I need to sell this loom mostly because I don't have room for it. In a few weeks I am going to inherit my grandparents looms. I can't tell you how excited I am about this. I feel like I'm getting new members of my family and I know that the two new looms I'm getting will be well used and will serve me extremely well. I am lucky to have a grandfather who bought only the best looms, and so I will be renting the second UHaul truck in a month to haul a Harrisville Rug Loom and a 16 harness Macomber to my new straw house on the mesa (I may need to rethink buying a couch however). May my grandparents weaving spirit bless my future creations on their beautiful looms. Thank you Grandpa for this amazing gift! I love you!